Recently, I read a book by Mark Manson who argued that we should not be asking ourselves what we should do in order to be happy. Rather, the question should be what we are willing to struggle for. For anything in life to amount to something, we need to put in hard work and struggle for it. And the process is painful and not easy. In his book, he also suggests that we should not set tangible goals. After all, what is left for us to do after we have achieved that? Instead, he suggests that we should struggle for process(es). We would never really get there but each day of struggle brings us closer to the ideal and that is fulfiling by itself. So that’s a question that I have been asking myself: what am I willing to struggle for?
I guess one of my problems is that I tend to feel that I am right in many circumstances and this makes me feel rather entitled. I feel like I deserve better treatment even when I have not done too much to earn that. I feel like I deserve respect even when I don’t act as the best human being I have ever met. I feel like I deserve a work-life balance (and holidays) and sometimes I wish the work-life balance will be handed to me on a silver platter. But the truth is, to my dismay, I act like a self-entitled millenial. And when I feel like I deserve so much, what am I willing to struggle for? Deep down, these are things that I feel like I deserve so why should I work for it?
Mark Manson also argued that we should not struggle for something that depends largely on other people’s reactions; we should struggle for something that we can control.
I am not sure if I am able to explicate what I would want to struggle for but I think I am quite serious about relationships and I feel that people are worth the effort. I can try to deal with the negative stuff and put up with bad moments for the connection with people. What else am I willing to struggle for?