Saturday, September 1

That’s what my lockscreen on my phone says. Staring at it, I cant help but to ask myself what did I do in august. Indeed, I did nothing. I didn’t have school or work, I didn’t travel, I just slacked a month of my life away. A part of me feels satisfied and maybe even accomplished to have spent quality time with friends. But there’s this little voice that says it isn’t right, time shouldn’t be squandered this way. Time should be spent purposefully doing something whatever it is.

Sometimes I think filling time with tangible things just seems to be a form of labelling days/ weeks / months and a way to stay accountable to myself and to others. ‘I spent last month working’ just sounds so much better than ‘I spent last month doing nothing’. But how else can we spend time?   And every month, except for a handful, I found myself scribbling down events in my scheduler and then when they got closer, I would use a different coloured pen to strike them out. Its as if I know, but I dont quite know yet.

Perplexed, and time, as elusive as it is, continues to slip through my hands. How should I spend september?

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